Sadly I woke up on 23rd December to find out that my mother in law as I call her as she calls me her BOGOF daughter (Buy-One-Get-One-Free) as she got Sis and me as an extra bonus, was seriously ill in intensive care. This all happened very quickly as a result of a chest infection that escalated horribly. So Tim and I spent what would have been the very early morning in the UK trying to get more information as to just how bad it was. And it is very disconcerting being that far away and being asleep when it sounds like things had gone downhill so rapidly. I began to feel awful that I was so far away from everyone at what was a horrible time and I decided that I needed to come back to be with my family. And as Tim put it, even if she had made a spectacular recovery, I was going to feel out of sorts being in Rwanda knowing that things were so difficult at home. So with the help of the amazing Debs, I managed to get a flight booked back and sorted and jumped on the 3.5 hour bus ride from Gisenyi to Kigali. Sadly she died while I was in the airport in Kigali waiting for the start of a journey through Entebbe and then Amsterdam before into London.
So I feel very glad that I got back on Xmas Eve to be with my family and my adopted father in law too at what was and is a surreal time. It was weird to have no warm clothes and to be cold for the first time in a month as well as to see snow. And strange to be eating a fully fledged Xmas dinner with the trimmings that Mummals had already lovingly started to prepare instead of having what had sounded like it may be a little random given the challenges of finding chubby chickens in Rwanda albeit it sounds like it went very well. And bizarre to have got my head around the idea of spending Xmas in a hot place that is not really Xmassy at all to then find myself back in the thick of lots of Xmas spirit as people dashed around in Schiphol airport in Amsterdam amongst wads of Xmas trees and decorations.
What is good is that it was quick and fairly painless for her which I am sure is the way that she would have wanted to go and she lived a full life until such time as she popped off. And it reminds me how important family, friends and community are and how quickly life can change, how unexpected that often feels and how much we have to be grateful for. So in her honour and to celebrate and honour the circle of life, I thought I would amuse and/or horrify you with one of the things that I shocked us when we were first in the clinic in Murara. As Tim has medical experience, the director of the clinic showed us around as Tim said he was very happy to contribute wherever would be useful so he showed us around the 6 or so buildings, one of which was the maternity unit, a term that I use lightly! This encompasses a room with 3 grotty beds in where you can go if you are in labour, the delivery room and then a room with 4-5 beds where you can recover for 10 minutes before getting back out into the fields!
So for those of you yummy mummies whose birth plan may not have panned out exactly as you desired here, consider having the next one in an African clinic if you are contemplating having more as you won't need a birth plan cos there are no options and you just get on with it! So to honour the circle of life and because I can with a wireless network that doesn't take an hour to load a photo, have a gander at the attached photo and I hope that makes you all more diligent in doing your pelvic floor exercises as well as appreciating the NHS! And whilst you ponder how different your birth experience may have been and be thankful, see if you can get the smell of a stable mixed with a butchers shop in your nostrils and then I think you have the whole experience down!
So it seems poignant to consider the simplicity of birth experiences in Rwanda and how quickly we can go and this makes me intent on enjoying what is here and now,which is exactly what Mummals would have wanted, so thought I would take this opportunity to let you all know that I am home now for a couple of weeks and would love to see as many of you as I can before I go back for another stint.
So Happy New Year - make the most if it cos you just never know how long it may last! Licence for a cosmopolitan or two me thinks!!xx
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